Remembering Mom

 

I won’t be around this weekend so I am posting this early. I have been thinking about my mother a lot this past week. I guess knowing that Mother’s Day is coming has a lot to do with that. My Mother passed away many years ago. I have lost count, but  I think it has been 13 years. She got sick, and went into the hospital one June day. That afternoon she had a sudden heart attack. I got the phone call saying she had stopped breathing, but the Dr’s had brought her back. They wanted to put a pace maker in her. I got in the car and headed out as fast as I could go. She lived about 5 hours away. I didn’t make it there, she died before I had  a chance  to say goodbye. My saving grace in the fact that I didn’t get to say “goodbye” was a phone call the night before. This is not a story about how wonderful my mother was, because she wasn’t. She did the best she could but she was bi polar and had major depression. Years ago they didn’t have a name for this nor did they know how to treat it. I won’t go into the details, but to say life was perfect would be dishonest. She tried… maybe more that the rest of us at times. I actually don’t remember my mother every telling me that she love me until a few years before she passed away. Do I have a lot of good childhood memories? No, but there were times when I knew that she wanted to give more and couldn’t. As the years went by and I became an adult, things improve for her. The Dr’s began to learn more, and with the right meds there was help for her.

Back to the night before she died. I knew she was going into the hospital the next day. My brother, his wife & my sister were with her. She was living with my grandmother and taking care of her. They had gone up to help take care of my grandmother while mom was in the hospital. I had called to check up on her. We talked on the phone for about 15 min’s. I don’t remember what was said except for the last words I said to her. The very last words I ever said to my mother were….

“I love you Mom”

So don’t let this mother’s day pass without letting your mother know that you love her, because you never know what tomorrow will bring.

MY MOTHER

Happy Mother’s Day Mom wherever you are.