What do you have and What do you know ?

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..
enough
money within her control to move out
and rent a place of  her own,
even if she ever wants to or needs to...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..
something
perfect to wear if the employer,
or date of her dreams
wants to see her in an hour...

A WOMAN SHOULD
HAVE ..
a youth she's content to leave behind....
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .
a past juicy
enough that she's looking forward to
retelling it in her
old age....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .
one friend who
always makes her laugh.. and one who lets her cry...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..
a good piece
of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her
family...

  
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .
eight
matching plates, wine glasses with stems,
and a recipe for
a meal,
that will make her guests feel honored...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .
a feeling of
control over her destiny..
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD
KNOW...
how to fall in love without losing herself..
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to quit
a job,
break up with a lover,
and confront a friend
without;
ruining the friendship...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK
AWAY...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that she can't change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that her
childhood may not have been perfect...but it's over...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW....
what she
would and wouldn't do for love or more...

 

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW....
how to live
alone... even if she doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW.. .
whom she can trust,
whom she can't,
and why she shouldn't take it personally...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
where to go...
be it to her best friend's kitchen table..
or a
charming Inn  in the woods.....
when her soul needs
soothing....
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..
What she can and can't accomplish in a day...
a month...and a year...

Why is it that we have to grow old to learn most of these things ?  Simply_me

Quote of the Day:
I do not agree with a word that you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.

Isn’t this the Truth!

You may need to stop at the women's restroom . . . be prepared!

When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it's your turn , you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied.

Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall.

You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants! The dispenser for the modern 'seat covers' (invented by someone's Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one, but there isn't - so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck, (Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR! ), yank down your pants, and assume ' The Stance.'

In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake. You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold 'The Stance.'

To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, 'Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!' Your thighs shake more.

You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the one that's still in your purse. (Oh yeah, the purse around your neck, that now, you have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at the same time). That would have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It's still smaller than your thumbnail .

Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn't work. The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet. 'Occupied!' you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT. It is wet of course. You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try. You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you're certain her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, 'You ju st don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get.'

By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl that sprays a fine mist of water that covers your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes. The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too.

At this point, you give up. You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks.

You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women still waiting.

You are no longer able to smile politely to them. A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. (Where was that when you NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and tell her warmly, 'Here, you just might need this.'

As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used, and left the men's restroom. Annoyed, he asks, 'What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?'

This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with a public restrooms (rest??? you've GOT to be kidding!!). It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly asked questions about why women go to the restroom in pairs. It's so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your purse and hand you Kleenex under the door!

Quote of the Day:
There is no worse lie than a truth misunderstood by those who hear it.

The world is changing….

Ever try and call your local cable or phone co ? If so this should  scare ya.

Finding that you now live on your computer ?

Worried about your job ?

The world is forever changing, but not all changes are good..

                                                                           Simply_me

Quote of the Day:
When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.

Don't Mess With Texas

THREE MEN MARRIED WIVES FROM DIFFERENT STATES.

THE FIRST MAN MARRIED A WOMAN FROM NEBRASKA.  HE TOLD HER THAT SHE WAS TO DO THE DISHES AND HOUSE CLEANING.  IT TOOK A COUPLE OF DAYS, BUT ON THE THIRD DAY HE CAME HOME TO SEE A CLEAN HOUSE AND DISHES WASHED AND PUT AWAY.

THE SECOND MAN MARRIED A WOMAN FROM KANSAS.  HE GAVE HIS WIFE ORDERS THAT SHE WAS TO DO ALL THE CLEANING, DISHES AND THE COOKING.  THE FIRST DAY HE DIDN'T SEE ANY RESULTS, BUT THE NEXT DAY HE SAW IT WAS BETTER.  BY THE THIRD DAY, HE SAW HIS HOUSE WAS CLEAN, THE DISHES WERE DONE AND THERE WAS A HUGE SUPPER ON THE TABLE.

THE THIRD MAN MARRIED A GAL FROM TEXAS.  HE ORDERED HER TO KEEP THE HOUSE CLEANED, DISHES WASHED, LAWN MOWED, LAUNDRY WASHED, AND HOT MEALS ON THE TABLE FOR EVERY MEAL.

HE SAID THE FIRST DAY HE DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING, THE SECOND DAY HE DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING BUT BY THE THIRD DAY, SOME OF THE SWELLING HAD GONE DOWN AND HE COULD SEE A LITTLE OUT OF HIS LEFT EYE, AND HIS ARM WAS HEALED ENOUGH THAT HE COULD FIX HIMSELF A SANDWICH AND LOAD THE DISHWASHER......

Quote of the Day:
If you really want to do something, you will find a way. If you don't, you will find an excuse.

I own bragging rights !

As most of you know, I am a "Mamaw" and I have to do what "Mamaw's do best. I have to brag. Yeah I know, we all like to think that our grand kids are the best looking and the smartest around. I have proof..

Here is a picture of my oldest grand son that speaks for itself.. 

Foo being inducted into the national junior honor society!

So as you can see I do own bragging rights after all ! He is 13 years old and a really smart kid. I wish I could say he takes after me, but I can't. I would like to be able to say that he takes after his mom alone but I have to include my X son_in_ law. Foo has two very bright parents. I am so proud to call him my grandson ! Love ya Foo ....

MY GRAND KIDS ROCK !!!!!!!

Don't Call Me...

I have to admit it, I don't do well when someone is sick. I mean the throwing up kind of sick... You would think that someone who has worked in a nursing department for 9 years wouldn't have a problem with this.. Wrong!!!

And now for the rest of the story...

The other night was going really well until the phone started ringing. We got a call that a new admit was on the way in. I had to start getting ready to admit this pt. It was after hours and the nursing department had to take care of this late admission. Normally the admission office does this, but they were closed. When a new pt is admitted  they come to the detox unit first. If they don't need to detox they go into what we call the community. While I am getting things ready for the new admission the phone rings again. "You need to come and get  So N So. he is feeling dizzy and weak." "Ok, I'll be there in a min."  I was feeling put out because I had to stop what I am doing, to go get a pt that had been trying to leave all day. He was a community pt and had been here for awhile. He informed us he wasn't ready to stop using drugs. Does , "You can lead a horse to water , but you can't make him drink"  ring a bell? I decided to try and finish one last thing  before running out the door. I knew said pt would be ok, because there were staff members with him till I could get up the hill to pick him up.

The phone rings again.. the third time in about 3 min's . I answer it. "You need to come up here right away, So N So is throwing up all over the place!"  My night just got worse. I jump in the golf cart and headed up the hill. I get there and they are walking So N So out to the golf cart. 5 people are talking to me at once. Several want to know if they can come with us back to the unit and help. These are not staff members but pt's. I tell them one can ride with us, but other then that  I am thinking we need to keep things as calm as we can. I don't want to scare the new admission. Then a staff member was trying to tell me to make sure and drug test  So N So and another person was yelling @ me, "Do you have something you can clean this up with?" I stopped cold, threw up my hands up in the air and told this person "I can only do one thing at a time!"  To which she responded, "I was just asking a question!" I knew the question really was, "When are you cleaning this up?"

I take So N So back to the unit. He was sure he is dying, and refused to take a drug test. Hello, what does this say to you ??? Yes it's sad to say drugs do get into drug rehabs now and then. We can not police everyone that comes in the gate to visit. I grab some supplies to clean up the mess and headed back up the hill. Did I mention I had just eaten supper before this all started ? I walked in and everyone is standing.... hear me.. standing around the area that needs attention, waiting for me to clean it up. Let me tell you... I was having a talk with myself as I walked in. "You can do this. just don't breath for the next 5 min's!"  So N So was not just a little sick, he really planned this out I think. It looked like he had lost a weeks worth of food. I am still talking to myself , "You have to do this and don't embarrass  us." I did mentions I had just eaten right ? Well, I throw some rags on the floor, you know to cover it up so I don't have to see it.  I tell myself to think of it as oatmeal, lots and lots of oatmeal. Did I mention I was just a few feet away from  kitchen ? I bent down and started to wipe up the "Oatmeal." I had a plastic bag in my hand to put the rags in.  Wellllllllllllll me and the bag walked into the kitchen and I threw up in the bag !!!!  I'm not gonna let anyone see this is getting the best of me, so I walk out and pick up where I left off..........  After a few min's I made another trip to the kitchen and you can guess why.

I'm not having the best of nights! I did manage to get the mess cleaned up, the floor mopped and the bag safely tied up and put in the Bio Box. My question is "Why do I always seem to get the clean up duty?"  Don't these people realize that when I was  fixing to have my first child I was worried  about how I was going to change a dirty diaper without running to the bathroom ?????  And now you know my "dirty" little secret. I'll admit it, there are moments that I am such a wimp. This night was one of them, but no one seem to notice.

Note to myself, I will not be eating any"Oatmeal" anytime soon !  Signed : Please don't call me........ 

 

                       Simply _me

This could happen !

Never Leave Your Child Unattended With Your Dog

If you are an owner of a dog that belongs to a 'dangerous breed' category and you also have a small child please take this as a warning.

Don't leave your dog with the child unattended under any circumstances.

Things happen so fast and you may not be around to stop it...

Only a little moment was enough for the following to happen.

You can't say you haven't been warned !

Quote of the Day:
For Sweetest things turn sourest by their deeds; Lilies that fester smell far worse than weeds.